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Celebratory like the clap.
Saving Democracy one mock at a time.
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I have come to the inevitable conclusion that I need to get my ass off the internet for a bit. Thanks to Snowpocalypse 2008, I've been snowed in and have barely left the house in over a week. My trip to New Seasons for groceries today (usually a 15 minute bus ride each way) took four hours, including all the time I spent standing out in the cold with absolutely no idea when or if a bus might be coming. Our car can't get out of our parking space, and even if it could, I am not driving on the same roads as all these morons who think the roads being essentially long, narrow skating rinks is no reason to slow the fuck down or stop tailgating. We have no clean clothes because our washer/dryer has been broken for over two weeks with three failed attempts by maintenance to fix it. I could do laundry in the complex laundry room, but that would involve carrying baskets of laundry up and down three flights of outdoor stairs which are also covered in snow and ice, and across the completely un-plowed/shoveled parking lot, and I really don't want to die because I was trying to navigate trecherous, icy stairs with my hands full of laundry, unable to see where I was stepping.

In short, I've got serious cabin fever and I've turned into a raging bitch from hell. If you're looking at my journal because you thought you'd see what you could find out about the person who bit your damn head off for absolutely no reason earlier, I apologize. My fuse went from short to non-existent sometime late yesterday afternoon. I think I'll just avoid the internet until I see sun and grass again.

Current Mood: aggravated aggravated

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Dear American Conservatives,

I realise you all just magically became feminists a couple of weeks ago with the nomination of Sarah Palin for VP. Since you're new to feminism, there's a few things that I'd like to point out to you, one feminist to another, in the interest of advancing the welfare of women everywhere. That is what you want, right? Surely all the cries of sexism aren't just cynical political posturing, right? Right.

Sexism is what happens when a woman isn't hired for a job just because she's a woman. Or when someone treats a woman as if she were stupid because they believe that women aren't capable of understanding complex ideas. Sexism happens when a woman goes into a car dealership and the salesperson continually talks to her male companion as if she were not capable of making a decision about an auto purchase all by her pretty little self, even after being told that her male companion is not the one buying a car.

Of late, quite a few of you have seemed quite confused about what does and does not constitute sexism. Expecting a woman who is an applicant for a very high profile and important job to prove that she's qualified is not sexism. Expecting her to be able to articulate a fundamental understanding of the issues involved in the job is not sexism. TV comedy shows parodying a female politician in the same way that they've been parodying male politicians for decades is not sexism.

You're right that a lot of sexism has been directed at Sarah Palin, but by and large, it's not coming from the left. The sexism being directed at Gov. Palin is coming from the right and directly from the McCain campaign.

Expecting her to demonstrate that she's capable of doing the job is not sexist. What's sexist is the assertion, made explicitly or implicitly by the right, that Gov. Palin should not be questioned on her credentials. What's sexist is the McCain campaign's decision to keep her away from the press until such time that the press can be counted on to treat her with "deference". What's sexist is the cries of sexism every time the press or the left treats Gov. Palin as if she were an intelligent, capable adult who is running for the second highest office in the country. The bitching and moaning about how terrible the left is for not treating her as if she were a delicate flower who might cry if anyone says the wrong thing to her.

Criticism is not automatically sexism. Assumed immunity from criticism based on gender is very much sexism. So if you want to have any credibility at all as people who believe Governor Palin is qualified and capable of being 2nd in line for the presidency, then I suggest you start behaving as though she were, in fact, qualified and capable.

Sincerely,
danger0usbeans, your friend on the left
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clipped from irregulartimes.com

It’s almost time for those red kettles to go up in front of grocery stores across America, and all across America, people get all rosy cheeked just thinking about doing good… forgetting about all the organizations that do as much good without making such a big show about it… without thinking about where the money that goes into the red kettle really goes to.

Among other things, the money people give to the Salvation Army goes to pay the salaries of lobbyists in Washington D.C. What, oh what, do those Salvation Army lobbyists lobby for? The Salvation Army lobbies in favor of the political agenda of the Religious Right.

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If you've never seen me perform (or if you have), this is one of my favorite songs to dance to. I can't even begin to express how much I love it, or how it feels to dance to such powerful music.
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The details:

Where: The Egyptian Room, SE 37th & Division
When: Friday, June 15, 9:00 pm or whenever you get there
What: Pride Kickoff Party, I'm belly dancing!

I need to seed the audience with people who know what to do when there's a belly dancer performing, so the rest of the crowd will have someone to take cues from. If that's not you already, here's how to be a fabulous spectator:

1. Make noise. There's lots of traditional things you can do, like the zaghareet, hissing for slow moves, yelling "opah!" for moves you think are really cool, but if you don't know any of those things, that's fine. Just make whatever noise you feel like making. Clap, cheer, even screaming "WOO!" is totally appropriate. Just don't sit in stony silence while the dancer is performing, or she'll think you think she sucks.

2. Tipping is wonderful! This is the most important thing I need from my friends tomorrow night. People in random clubs, who don't know anything about belly dancing, don't know how or even if they should tip. The answer is Yes!

Here's how you do it: Take a dollar bill (or a larger denomination if you're feeling *really* generous, but singles are traditional), fold it in half lengthwise, and hold it up in the air. When the dancer sees that you're holding up a dollar, she'll dance her way over to you and present her hip. You then tuck the bill into her belt. However, it is important to note that belly dancers are not strippers and should not be treated as such (which is not to say that strippers deserve to be groped by strangers if they don't want to be, but I don't really know how tipping strippers works, and belly dancer tipping issues usually stem from people assuming that we're strippers simply because of this one bit of crossover).

When you tuck a bill into the dancer's belt, your fingers should go only as deep as is necessary to secure the bill. Don't act like you're mining for gold in her costume. Tuck bills only in the area that the dancer presents to you. If she dances over and gives you her right hip, that's where you tuck your dollar. Do not insist that you'll only tip if you can put it in her bra, or in the front of her belt, or in the crack of her ass. That's a good way to be escorted out by a bouncer. Once you've tipped the dancer, there is no more touching. DO NOT slap the dancer on the ass, squeeze her boob, or touch her in any way that would be inappropriate to touch someone who had not invited you to do so (accepting a tip is not an invitation).

The short version: Tip, don't grope.

Honestly, though, I don't expect a problem at the E Room. Usually, it's only straight men who've had a little too much to drink that cause any sort of an issue.
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You guys seem to know everything, so I have another question:

I need some software that will let me edit mp3s. Not just the tags, but actually make changes to a song, turn two songs into one track, cut out bits I don't want, stuff like that. For example, Voodoo by Godsmack has, on one 9 minute track, a 4:30 song, followed by two minutes of silence, followed by 2 minutes of drum solo. I need something that will allow me to move the drum solo to before the song, cut out the two minutes of silence, and fade into a 2nd song without a gap inbetween. Then I need to be able to burn the finished product onto a CD that will play on a regular stereo, not just on a computer (I can already burn audio CDs, I just need to be sure it will save in a format that will work).

I'm not opposed to paying for software as long as it has some sort of trial period that will allow me to do all the above and verify that it *actually works* all the way through to playing the CD on a stereo before I shell out for it. And as long as it's not going to cost me hundreds of dollars.

Alternately, if someone has some sort of professional setup that will do this, but that I'll never be able to afford, would you be willing to manipulate a dozen or so songs for me in exchange for beer, homemade baked goods, handmade soap, or some combination thereof? I've got 10 days to get this done, but I'd prefer to not be down to the wire quite that much, so sometime this week would be better.

If you're wondering, I'm not trying to do anything immoral or illegal (as far as I'm aware). I'm a bellydancer, and I have a major performance coming up on the 15th. I really want to use some new music I just bought, and I don't want to have to ask the DJ to skip around tracks and mix things on the fly for me and hope she'll do it.
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Dangerous Beans
Name: Dangerous Beans
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